This site is primarily for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse but we welcome all to join us in our journey to recovery. Sexual abuse does not just affect the victim it affects all those who surround him, his partner, children, parents, brothers, sisters, and even friends, so we welcome those people also so they may find some help and advice on how to support the survivor in their family. In our community we have a forum where you can meet and share with other survivors from around the world, and we hope to have a live chat room up and running shortly, no one who comes to our site will ever be asked to pay in any way to be a part of our community, the site is paid for and maintained by its creator and owner who is a survivor also. His idea is that nobody should ever have to pay for help or support, this site is his way to repay all the support he has received and this is the next part of his journey.
Current statistics are found to show that around 1 in 6 boys has or will be abused sexually before they are 18, for many years there has been a stigma attached to men who have been abused which has led to many many men living alone with what happened to them, with-out support, with-out someone to talk to.
A cultural bias maintains that males cannot be victims, males are expected to be confident, knowledgeable, and aggressive. To be a victim means one is an inadequate male, if the boy's body has responded sexually, he feels he is somehow responsible for the sexual abuse. Male victims of sexual abuse struggle with issues of homosexuality as most offenders are male, their homophobia plus their confusion and fear encourage silence not to mention the social stigma attached to homosexuality. If a boy has a homosexual orientation, he is often blamed for the"seduction" of the older male, instead of being acknowledged as a legitimate victim of sexual abuse. Molestation by an older female is often viewed positively as a kind of "initiation rite" into manhood.
Cultural pressure encourages participation while denying feelings, male victims of sexual abuse, more than female victims, may fear loss of freedom and independence if the sexual abuse should be made public. Fear of reprisals from the offender plays a role in under-reporting, when boys are victimised, they tend to be blamed more for their abuse and are viewed as less in need of care and support. Boys fear negative judgement by family and friends. Embarrassment and/or confusion prevent male victims of sexual abuse from disclosing.
We can't let this silence continue.
We may have been betrayed but together we will be heard.
